


Goldilocks

by OffTopiCAuthor



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Endgame Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, F/F, I am Supercorp Trash, Kara Danvers isn't Supergirl, Lesbian Kara Danvers, Lesbian Lena Luthor, Slow Burn Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, SuperCorp Sunday
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 11:57:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20339743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OffTopiCAuthor/pseuds/OffTopiCAuthor
Summary: Midvale University’s star quarterback, Kara Danvers, has a past that drives her, a motive that defines her, and a secret that she denies. The last thing that she ever wanted to do was to be the very thing that everyone thought she was. But she had to do it...in the name of love.





	1. Maybe We Should Actually Study Next Time

A walking dream. The only ray of sunshine that someone would want to wake them up in the mornings. So optimistic, so hopeful, so warm, so solid, so powerful. Ejected with the voice and soul of an Angel. Projected as a human, as something so ordinary. Looks can be deceiving, and they were. Especially in this case. This case as in her. Her as in  Kara Danvers. Kara Danvers as in number two on the football team . Number two on the football team as in Midvale University’s Star quarterback. She went by Goldilocks, it was printed on the back of her jersey right above her number. It was also printed on the very first page of Lena’s diary.

_Goldilocks, a special edition made just for me. From her fragrance to her beautiful ocean blue eyes, I’m in love with everything she’s made of. Every day I wish that I could let her know how bad I’m wanting her, but the rejection from an angel I’m afraid of. I guess I’m okay with just obsessing over her until I know for sure that what I’m feeling she can feel it too._

That was only the first page, half of it rather. But all of the hers’ were his’ and all of the shes ‘ were hes’. Lena was so afraid of losing her most prized possession, one filled with all of her deepest desires, and the last thing she needed was the cheerleaders and the football team clowning her over a crush that she’s had since freshman year. A huge crush, an  I dream about you every night because you’re the first and last thing on my mind crush. And as much as Lena wanted to stop thirsting over someone she couldn’t have, it got harder and harder every single day. 

Lena remembered every single time she and Goldi made any kind of contact, physical and eye. Kara had accidentally bumped into Lena on their way into class and Lena has dropped everything, but Kara helped her pick it up after apologizing several times. She even carried it all to the seat of Lena’s choosing. That was how they met, but they never actually knew each other.

Goldi was the sweetest thing ever, and it was such a shocker to find out that she was a football player. Someone who was so sweet and generous was also so physically and emotionally aggressive in ways that made Lena’s dreams a little...different.

They were currently sitting in Lena’s favorite class, well the one that went head-on with science on her favorite subject hierarchy. Math. Not to mention the fact that it was the only class where she and Kara sat right next to each other. The fruity sent that would brush past Lena’s nostrils every time Kara would walk past her. It was refreshing.

“Also,” Ms. Gray turned away from her chalkboard to face the class, “we are starting our remediation programs this weekend for everyone who has anything below a sixty-nine. So if you’re participating in any sports and you don’t have at least a C minus, then you won’t be able to play in the homecoming game...that includes you, Ms. Danvers,”

Kara scoffed, a smirk slowly sliding across her face. Yes, she did know that math was an area in which she struggled, but she didn’t think she was failing. 

“It’s not a joke,” Ms. Gray ensured, “so I’d advise you to get with someone, preferably Ms. Luthor, considering the fact that she’s the only one in this classroom with an A, and get some tutoring,”

Lena refused to look to her right where Kara had sat, instead, she stared straight ahead at the math problems on the chalkboard and waiting for the bell that would ring any second now. And of course, her mind strolled away from the thought of time and on to other circumstances. There was no way in hell that Kara would actually agree, whether it meant playing in the game or not, to having Lena tutor her. Or was it? Logistically, there was only one way to answer that question. 

The bell rang, and as always, everyone rushed out of class...including Lena. There was no attempt to wait for Kara, or even talk to her first and ask if she’d wanted the help because Lena was so nervous. Kara probably hadn’t even remembered who Lena was. Or if she did, there was a one hundred ten percent chance that she didn’t know Lena’s last name.

Lena approached her locker, opened it, and threw everything inside before pulling out her other purse. She checked to see if her keys were in there before staring at herself in the mirror that was pinned inside of the locker door. 

“Luthor?” The reflection of Kara inside of Lena’s mirror was extremely intimidating to a point where Lena had actually shut the locker and turn around to face the blonde.

“Goldi?” Lena smiled nervously. “Hi,”

“I don’t know if you were paying attention or not, but Dr. Gray kind of volunteered for you to be my tutor? If you’re busy though that’s totally fine,”

What? Lena stared, there were no actual words coming out of her mouth because Kara Danvers was standing in front of her...talking to her...knowning her name...asking her to be a tutor. Out of all of the conversations that Kara and Lena had, this one was by far Lena’s favorite.

“No, I’m umm...I’m not busy. I could totally do you-tutor-tutor you, I mean.” The brunette paused and took a deep breath before reaching for her phone, which she retrieved but dropped only for Kara to catch it before it hit the floor. “Thanks,” Lena smiled, “now if you can just...put your number down,”

“Sure,”

The blonde flipped her hair...her amazing blonde hair that covered her shoulder blades and Lean’s eyes had instantly started to explore the features on Kara’s face. Losing herself in those innocent, pure, calm, obedient, yet dominant blue eyes. The scar above her left brow, all so tempting to touch. And how cute it was that every time, even in class, when Kara had been determined to do something she’d slightly stick out her tongue. Was this even legal? Was Kara legal?

“Here ya go,” Lena fumbled a bit to take her phone back from Kara, their hands brushing up against each other. _Why were her hands so soft? _Lena smiled nervously as the thought crept into her skull. “I texted myself so that I could save your number later,”

“Cool,” _Cool? I don’t say cool? What the hell is wrong with me?_ , “you could just let me know when you’re ready so we could do it—s-study I mean,” _what the fuck?_

“Are you available during lunch?” Kara’s head tilt was a bit intimidating, it was like she had been purposely trying to display her perfect jawline, but she didn’t have to try too hard. 

Lena nodded, “y-yeah.”

“Okay,” Internally, Lena was officially dying. God that smile could end the world just to create a new one. A better one. One where the stars were rewritten. One where Kara was made specifically for Lena...just for Lena. “I’ll see you later,” the blonde winked.

_Oh mY gOD, shE fuCkiNg wiNkeD! What does that mean?!_ Lena felt the urgent need to just fall out on the floor and just lie there. Normally she would eat lunch with Winn and Nia, but she was definitely ditching them today. They wouldn’t understand either, because they had no idea of how in love Lena had been in with _Goldilocks_. They didn’t know about her diary, no one did, and she would’ve done whatever it took to keep it that way.

** ****** **

Time went by slow, slower than normal. In some ways, it was a good thing because Lena wasn’t ready, but in other ways, she couldn’t wait to spend an hour and a half tutoring her biggest crush ever. Her biggest crush who sat three columns down from her in their chemistry class. Who was actually paying attention to what Professor Daniels was saying because Lena definitely wasn’t? She was thinking about what she would say, how she would say it, if she should change her voice, if she should use table manners or not, if they should go out to Denny’s or if they should stay on campus, if they should talk about each other or actually use all ninety minutes to just study.

Then there it was, the bell had rung and everyone had instantly gotten up and rushed out of the lecture hall. 

“Do not forget that tonight your off-topic presentations are due at eleven fifty-nine and we’ll be presenting them tomorrow, no exceptions,” 

Professor Daniels’ words were clear, yet distant for Lena had already been out in the hallway. It was almost as if Lena didn’t actually want to have lunch with Goldi. Her shyness was showing. It was nerve-wracking to have to think that Lena would have to be the one to remind Goldi, and it wasn’t Lena’s grade so she thought that it would be a good idea to see how much Goldi cared about her own grade. If she’d let her ego get in the way and forget that Lena was actually willing to help her out.

Not to mention, Lena only had two classes on Monday’s, Tuesday’s, and Thursday’s, which meant that unless Kara was available on Sunday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday, then she probably better do something about it. That’s if she cared that much, and Lena didn’t really believe that she had. 

But it was after Lena had left the building and made her way towards the outside seating where she’d normally sit with Winn and Nia, that her phone had vibrated in the pocket of her high waisted, skin-tight beige bootcut slacks that her black long-sleeved turtle neck had been neatly tucked into. In any case, whether she’d be dressed in Versace, Burberry, Louboutin, she was always dressing to impress. And most of those times she’d be mistaken as a professor.

**Goldi**: _Wya?_ **1:07 pm**

_Oh god, it’s happening_. Goldi texted her. Out of nowhere. On her own. She freaking remembered to text Lena, who didn’t have to remind her. Was it because she actually did care about her grade or because she just wanted to be a woman of her word? Either way, Lena didn’t care, all she cared about was where they were going to study. How they were going to study.

**Goldi**: _Nvm, I see you_. **1:08 pm**

When Lena had read that message, she looked up from her phone and began to look around for Kara, who she couldn’t see. It took a while, but after a bit, Lena was a little bit confused as to why she couldn’t Kara but Kara could see her. 

“Over here!” Lena immediately turned towards the voice that was all so familiar. Kara had been making her to the opposite side of a silver 2019 modeled Audi R8. She opened the door and waved for Lena to come over, which again led Lena to be confused.

Her black Louboutin heels clicked against the concrete as she made her way towards the car which Kara had opened the door to with a large smile on her face. 

“I hope you don’t mind but I usually go to Denny’s for lunch,” Kara said softly. _Lunch off-campus with the actual love of my life? I’d be stupid not get in this car right?_ Lena thought. “Unless you wanna go somewhere else?”

“No it’s fine,” the brunette assured as she got into the car. Kara closed the door behind her and that was when Lena let it all out. She took a deep breath and exhaled heavily. Her heart was racing and it was a normal thing when she was surrounded by Goldi’s presence. The angel who should not be allowed to walk this earth because god...she was doing some damage. Emotional and mental, the worse part was that she hadn’t even been trying to do it. It was damn pretty annoying.

When Kara had got into the car, she immediately put on her seat belt as Lena had done the same. The blonde switched gears and pulled off the curb slow and carefully. This was going to be an awkward ride, like really awkward. The radio was off and the only thing that they could eat was the smooth engine and the AC. 

“You know,” Kara broke the silence as she turned off the campus, “I think it’s weird that we’ve known each other since freshman year and yet I know nothing about you. Except for the fact that you’re like a literal genius. What’s your major?”

“Technology, computer science, chemical engineering, industrial engineering, electrical engineering, biomedical engineering, and chemistry,” 

“Jesus Christ,”Kara glanced at Lena before focusing on the road, “I thought you could only have three,”

“It’s supposedly the limit, but I’m far too passionate about a lot of things and entirely too smart to pass up on any opportunities that I have,” 

Lena was surprised that she was able to say anything without stammering or exploding, and while the conversation seemed as if she wasn’t panicking, she was. The display of confidence that she withheld was nothing compared to the anxiety that she was hiding. She ready to get this over with before she messed everything up, and maybe talking about herself was going to do just that.

“I like that,” Kara nodded, “there aren’t too many people in the world who are willing to put everything on the line in order to follow their passion. And maybe if people did follow their passion the world could be a better place.  Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears,” 

As Kara had come to a stop at the red light, the last red light before they would have been at Denny’s, Lena smirked at slowly raised one of her eyebrows, glancing over at the blonde who stared at the road. 

“Did you just quote Leslie Brown?”

“I did,” Then she looked over to her left, returning the wide smile as she nodded her head yes. And if Lena hadn’t been mistaken, Kara had definitely looked down at her lips. “I may not be great at math, but I’m pretty good at everything else,”

_I bet_. “What’s your favorite subject?”

“Science, preferably biology because almost every other part of it has math in it. Though I would really love to know chemistry-understand it better I mean,it’s actually interesting,”

“I could teach you,”

The eye contact still hadn’t been broken, which was probably why formally nervous Lena saying something in such a seductive way felt more intimate than intended. And it wasn’t only on Lena’s end, Kara felt it too...and she liked it. And she wanted to say no, but she couldn’t. There was something about Lena’s piercing green eyes that pulled away every single inch of confidence that Kara had ever had in her entire life. Every single feeling of aggression replaced by the need to give a gentle touch to the woman beside her. Every single nerve in her body wanting that touch to be returned. That dark voice that Lena had was something that Kara never knew she needed to hear, and possibly wanting to hear it again.

And then the eye contact broke, both of the women jumping at the horn that blew behind them. Kara was confused at first, but then she looked forward at the light that was now green and instantly pushed down on the gas. Lena continued to stare at Kara, once again exploring her features. Only this time from a side view...those beautiful long eyelashes and that perfect jawline that was all so tempting to touch. It was just...wow.

“You have like nine hundred majors, I doubt you’ll have time to tutor me in math and teach me chemistry,” Kara broke the ice as she pulled into the parking lot of Denny’s.

“I have a very flexible schedule, you, on the other hand, I’m not so sure about, what with being Midvale’s star quarterback and all,”

Kara furrowed her eyebrows as she pulled into one of the spots that overviewed the inside of Denny’s through the large window. Then she turned off the car and glanced over at Lena, a wicked smirk on her face. 

“Is that a challenge?” 

“If you want it to be, yes. But if not, I’ll just have to continue being the best.” And that...that was intended. The bravery and confidence that displayed as she stepped out of the car, mocking Kara’s moto which was written under all of her yearbook pictures..._you don’t dominate if it ain’t a challenge_. Of course, Kara loved a challenge and maybe that was why Lena was able to _halfway_ be herself because she knew that it was what Kara loved.

The blonde reached into the backseat to grab her backpack before she got out of the car, closing the door behind and using the keypad to lock them. There was a smile on her face as she followed behind Lena, wondering why they hadn’t talked before. And as for Lena, she had a feeling that it wouldn’t be long before she screwed this up even though she was doing so well so far.

Kara held the door open for Lena, which caught her off guard a little and Kara could see Lena’s hesitation to walk through the door. However, when she did, her eyes instantly landed on Winn and Nia.

“Umm, I’ll pick a table, while you order,” Lena turned to face Kara, “you could just get me a cheesecake blueberry cheesecake. Extra blueberries,”

Kara scoffed, a smirk on her face, “no kidding? That’s literally my go-to,”

“Really,” Lena smiled, “mine too.”

That was the moment where Nia and Winn had noticed Lena standing near the door giving Kara major heart eyes. Both of them were surprised to see Lena smile so hard at someone who she never liked to talk about. So what she didn’t actually like football, but she understood it because Kara was on the team and if there was a time where they were actually talking, like now, Lena wanted to be prepared. She wanted to ensure that if Kara ever used football puns or made a joke or a metaphor that related to football, she’d be able to understand it.

Their smiles never faded, not even when Kara had licked her lips and walked around Lena where she had gone to stand in line. Lena would probably not be able to go to sleep tonight, she’d probably just stare up at her ceiling thinking about what just happened...and about what had happened in the car. For some reason, Kara was so easy to talk to. She was friendly, and so much more charming than Lena would’ve ever imagined. It was refreshing actually.

After taking a moment to shake off the giddiness that Kara had rubbed off on Lena, she looked up where she saw Nia and Winn looking at her. They didn’t know that she was coming to Denny’s because she didn’t respond to any of their messages after first.

“What are you guys doing here?” Lena approached the table and hovered over her friends. 

Winn gestured towards the food on the table, “oh you know, the usual. Just chatting it up and...eating some cheesecake. What are you doing here?”

“Umm...” the brunette glanced back at Kara who stood second in line, then turned back to face Winn and Nia, “Dr. Gray volunteered me to tutor Goldi, and...” she sighed, “unless I tutor her, she won’t be playing in the Homecoming game.”

“I don’t really see how that’s your problem.” Nia crossed her arms. “But I do see that for someone who hates her, you guys sure do smile at each other a lot.”

Lena chuckled nervously, “I don’t hate her. We just...we’re just in different circles, okay? I’m only trying to be nice.Besides, after she gets at least a C average I’m sure her ego is going to kick me to the curb.”

“Yeah, unless her pride does it first,” Winn shrugged.

Despite the fact that that may have been true, Lena hoped that it wasn’t. She hoped that Kara was different than what everyone else thought she was. Lena hoped that Kara was better. She had obsessed for so long that she ended up creating her own version of Kara Danvers, a version that she hoped was similar to whatever version of Kara Danvers that Kara Danvers would display this afternoon.

Lena glanced over at Kara again, only this time they had made eye contact and she quickly looked away. 

“I’ll talk to you guys later,” she blurted before walking over towards the empty booth near the window.

The confidence that she had in the car was gone. Now, she was back to being nervous Lena. Her legs were crossed underneath the table while she waited, a short wait, tapping her fingertips on top of the smooth wooden table.

“I hope that you’re not allergic to raspberries,” Kara approached the table with a smile, placing down a plate that had two large slices of blueberry cheesecake and two large mango raspberry pomegranate smoothies. “Or mangoes,”

No way, Lena thought, placing her hand around one of the cups and looking at what was inside. Not only does she and Kara both love blueberry cheesecake, but they also loved mango raspberry smoothies.

“This is literally my go-to smoothie,” Lena scoffed, “I feel like you’re reading my mind,”

“Well, it’s probably a side effect from you reading mine,” the blonde then removed the book bag from her back and placed it into the seat before sitting down. “But hey, I’m not gonna lie, I am kind of curious as to how you’re able to balance all of those majors at once.”

Lena was once again caught off guard, but she did manage to catch on quickly. 

“Well,” Lena reached for a straw to put in her cup, “as much as I would like to say that it’s because I have my priorities straight, I’d rather go with I just follow my heart wherever it leads me. Most of the time she’s right, and whenever she’s wrong I like to think that it’s only a lesson or a setback that’ll lead to something better.” For some reason, Lena felt like Kara hadn’t been listening. Mostly because she fumbled through her book bag. “What’s your major?”

Kara pulled her math textbook, a notebook, and a binder from her book bag, setting it on the table as gentle as possible. 

“Fashion merchandising, business, and psychology.”

Lena giggled softly, not taking what Kara had said seriously. It was the first one that kind of caught Lena off guard the most. There was no way that Kara Danvers was into fashion.

“Why are you laughing?” The blonde smirked.

“Oh, you’re serious?” 

“Yeah, do you wanna see my sketches? Well, I’d have to show tomorrow because I left my sketchbook at home, but I’m a really creative person.”

“Okay,” Lena nodded and straightened up in her seat before resting her elbows on the table, “what are you going to do with your psychology degree?”

Kara used her thumbs to pull her amazing wavy hair behind her ears just before snapping open one of the plastic forks.

“I’m debating between a therapist or a social worker. Maybe even a lawyer, any kind of way that I could help people because I know what that feels like, being helpless.” She shrugged. “I was um...put up for adoption when I was seven and it was the worse feeling ever so I could only imagine what those teenagers are going through when they get put into the system. It’s harder to go through that when you’re older because you know what’s happening, and it’s really scary. Especially when you’ve been with these people, your parents, for so long and they just abandon you like that.” The blonde pulled the cheesecake closer to her, slicing it with her fork. “Eventually everyone else starts to do the same thing and you forget how to love, and you start to shut yourself out because you’re afraid to be hurt again. And I don’t want people to have to experience that, because it’s really devastating and it ruins you. It shortens your views of the future and changes your views of the world. It makes everything seem so cruel and because of that, it creates anger. I had a lot of anger. I _have_ a lot of anger, but because I’m a woman I can only let it out certain ways. There are so many girls who go into these foster homes only be taken advantage of, I was one of them. Because I was weak, and because I was afraid, but I refuse to allow fear and weakness to be my better or anyone else’s better. I’m the first girl to ever, in the history of Midvale University, play on the football team and _that_ is my power. I am defying whatever it is that a man thinks a woman is and what she should be because I’m not weak or afraid anymore, not for myself at least. So when I’m out there on that field, the only thing on my mind is _how_. How am I going to become something greater? How am I going to help others become something greater? Because my anger lies with every other helpless person on this earth and that’s a lot of anger.”

Lena was speechless. She would’ve never known those things about Kara if Kara had never said them. That’s not something you could get from a person just by looking at them. And to think that Winn and Nia were so convinced that Kara was a jerk just because she played football. There was a different reason why she was so competitive and so angry when she was on the field, and it was a good reason.

“So are you like...”

“An orphan?” Kara raised an eyebrow. “No. When I was thirteen I was adopted by the Danvers’ and they are awesome. Especially my sister Alex, she was the very first person after so many years who made me feel safe and welcomed. She’s like my best friend and I don’t know what I’d ever do without her. What about you though? What are you going to do with you nine hundred degrees?”

“Seven,” Lena corrected cockily, “and I don’t know. I just want to do something good. Cure cancer maybe.”

Kara smirked, and though they practically only just officially met, Kara felt like they knew each other forever and vise versa. The rest of their evening went smoothly. They studied here and there, but they mostly talked about irrelevant things like sports and food and movies and clothes and basically everything that wasn’t math-related. An hour and a half turned into five hours and a large order of burgers and fries along with more cheesecake. 

It’s been a while since Lena could do this with someone, talk about whatever popped into her head. She was being herself and Kara loved it. She loved how passionate Lena was about school, about life, about making a difference in the world. She loved her smile, her complexion, her voice, and god that cute giggle. Even better, the way those beautiful green eyes reflected the amazing light of the sunset that they watched together from the window of Denny’s. They were the last two people there, Winn and Nia left about two hours ago.

Now it was their turn, not that they wanted to leave, but one of the waiters told them they had to leave because Denny’s was closing for tonight. So they left, and Kara drove Lena home to the luxurious apartment complex that was about seventeen minutes away from campus, Braselton Heights.

“Next time we’re actually going to study,” Lena opened her door and got out of the car, a smile plastered on her face.

Or maybe they didn’t have to actually study, not a lot at least, because when Kara got home she managed to fly through her three pages of math homework with no problem at all. Even if Lena was only talking about math for five minutes, Kara was definitely listening. She listened to everything, and she wondered, even more, that night why they weren’t friends. They had so much in common, and Lena was everything except what people thought she was. The sidity billionaire, except she wasn’t a sidity billionaire. She was one of the most humble people that Kara had ever met in her life, not to mention one of the people who actually understood Kara. Someone who could challenge her. Someone who could stare into her soul and knock her off her game in a matter of three seconds.

_Goldilocks, you are everything that people say you aren’t and more than what I thought you were. I’ve created my own version of you, a good version. But your is version better. Your version is the best version. A pure soul that was once broken. A selfless, hopeful, caring woman with a lot of heart. You are good and someday people are going to see you the way I see you. Phenomenal._

That was almost Lena’s entry for tonight, but her diary was nowhere to be found. That’s because she left it dead smack in the passenger seat of Kara’s car. 


	2. You’re Mine, Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara invites herself to Lena’s place in order to return Lena’s diary.

**Lena**: _I left something in your car_. **7:43 am**

The first thing on Lena’s mind when she woke up this morning was her diary and she really really tried her best not to freak out. There were two and a half years worth of drooling over Kara Danvers in that book and if it ever got out that would be bad. So bad. SUPERBAD! 

And she thought that it would get better and that Kara would give her the book when they got to class but Kara wasn’t in class today. Why? Probably because Lena scared her off. Not to mention, she hadn’t even responded to the message. Lena was nervous because of it and she had been sitting at a table on campus after she got out of Professor Daniels’ class. She bounced her leg, continuously trying to stop it but it just kept happening out of nowhere. 

**Goldi**: _Sorry about that_ _ 😴 _ _, I’ve been at practice all day. No classes_. **4:31 pm**

**Goldi**: _Was it the black leather book with the unicorn on the back?_** 4:31 pm**

Lena was excited about the reply but was still nervous because there was still a chance that Kara had read it. _What if she did? How would she feel about that? Would she think it’s weird or would she think it’s cute and romantic? What if she thought it was creepy? Oh god_.

**Lena**: _Yes_. **4:32 pm**

**Goldi:** _If you want it now, you could stop by the field. It’s in my bag_. **4:32 pm**

_ Jesus that was fast. _

**Goldi**: _Or I could bring it by your place later and we could just study there?_ 4:32 pm

**Goldi**: _If you want_. **4:33 pm**

Did she just...did she just invite herself to my place? Lena furrowed at her phone. Not that she didn’t like the idea of having Kara Danvers is in the apartment, but that was fast. Almost too fast for Lena’s liking, but it was just to study, right? But she didn’t reply right away because she needed some time to think about what was happening. Should she cook or order takeout? Should she light candles or incense?

“Lena-“

“Holy fuck!” The brunette jumped in her seat, immediately becoming embarrassed after dropping her phone on the table. 

“Jesus,” Sam laughed softly as she placed a kiss on Lena’s cheek. “Why are you so jumpy today?”

She puffed, rolling her green eyes as she picked up her phone. “I lost something very important to me,”

“I hope you’re not talking about that damn book, why can’t you just write everything down in your phone?” Sam protested, slapping a load of papers on the table and placing her laptop on top of the pile.

Sam and Lena have been friends since kindergarten, which meant that Sam knew about _that damn book_. She also knew about _that damn crush_ that Lena had on _that damn girl_.

“Because everything is different when you write, it’s easier and more meaningful,”

**Lena**: _What time does practice end?_ **4:41 pm**

Like she hadn’t known the answer to that. “Plus it hurts.” She added. “And love is pain-“

Sam scoffed, “God you’re ridiculous.”

**Goldi**: _Since I’ve been here all day I can leave early, but I have to pick up my medicine so how does six sound?_ **4:42 pm**

“And why do you keep looking at your phone? You don’t text,” Sam peered at Lena. “Or have any socials.”

“I text,”

**Lena**: _Six is great._ **4:44 pm**

“Just not every day like everyone else who are addicted to their phones,” Lena shrugged, “anyways,” and she stood up from the table, gathering her things. “I have to get going, I’ll see you tomorrow night,”

_Tomorrow night?_ Sam furrowed. “What’s tomorrow night,”

The green-eyed woman paused and momentarily stared at Sam blankly. “My family’s annual charity event. You’re going, right? You have to,”

“Sorry, I’m going to National City to visit my girlfriend-“

“I’ll send a car to pick her up, just bring her,”

Samantha couldn’t say no and it was due to the fact that Lena had already waltzed off. She was never in a rush for anything because she was very punctual, but if she was running late, she would just be late and not pressure herself because she hated pressure.

And on that note, she headed towards home. She wondered what medicine Kara was taking, steroids? Nah. Beauty inducer? Nah. Sweet potion? Oh god, she was losing herself. Losing her mind while she debated on what to make. There were no frozen foods, so she would probably have to _cook._ But what does Kara like to eat besides cheesecake and burgers and fries?

**Lena**: _Italian or Mexican?_ **5:17 pm**

**Goldi**: _Italian for sure._ **5:17 pm**

Lena didn’t even have time to put her phone down after texting Kara because the response was once again fast as heck and she started to wonder if Kara’s phone was some kind of extra advanced robot that had an auto-reply. That would be cool actually.

Unfortunately, though, there was literally nothing in Lena’s apartment worth cooking so she had to run out and get something. It took about an hour because she didn’t know what kind of garlic bread Kara would like. Stuffed or regular? She also wondered if she should make spaghetti or lasagna. But she couldn’t decide so she just got both and she struggled out of her car, off of the elevator, and then down the hall back to her apartment.

Before she got to the door though, Lena wondered how she was going to get her keys with all of those bags in her hands because she didn’t want to sit them down and neither did she want to drop them. She huffed loudly and to her luck, Kara was standing right there at the door and she turned to give Lena her attention, rushing over to the brunette and taking all of the bags from her hands.

There was a chill that was sent down Lena’s spine as she realized that this was happening. It took nearly three years just for Lena to get Kara into her home. A long desperate two years of yelling in her own mind about whether she should speak to Kara or not, how she would speak to Kara. And now she was contemplating what she should cook for the love of her life.

Lena pulled her keys from her purse and pushed open the door, holding it open for Kara who looked so adorable in her yellow Midvale University sweat suite. Her hair was up in a sloppy, yet cute bun, where a few strands of hair hung in her face. 

Would it be awkward tonight? Would Kara bring up something from Lena’s diary? Would they only study for real this time, forcing Lena to try and ignore the tension? Everything...anything could wrong at any moment and Lena’s chances with Kara could be ruined. Well, technically they probably already are because there was no doubt in Lena’s mind that Kara had read that damn book. The only question was did she like what she read or not? Hopefully, she did know that all of the pronouns were written the way they were in case something like this did happen. But then again there was only one number two named Goldilocks, and because of that, Lena made a mental note.

_Incorrect pronouns are useless if you’re too specific you idiot_.

“You could put those on the counter,” Lena pointed towards the dark gray marble countertops and Kara followed the instructions as if it was second nature.

As the blonde placed the bags on the countertop, she glanced at the refrigerator and then did a double-take. Lena always generated sexy energy, Kara always noticed it, but after meeting officially, Lena didn’t strike Kara as someone who would take pictures like these. Have them displayed on the refrigerator. It made Kara a little curious, and she wondered if Lena wanted people to see her like this. Posing in front of a body mirror in a black lace bra and panties. And though it was a sight to see, Kara wished that she hadn’t seen it. Mostly because she had a lot on her mind, which normally she’d speak, but for some reason she was afraid...which was why she said it. 

“You look amazing,”

The calamity in which Kara had complimented Lena was far beyond her expectations with all of the nervousness that consumed her. Lena, on the other hand, portrayed her astonishment on her face without any remorse, and she noticed Kara staring at the pictures on the fridge. 

“Oh, um...thanks,” the brunette stammered, “I-I took those last weekend.”

“Special occasion?”

The way that Kara looked back at Lena, a smirk on her face, as she raised an eyebrow, showed what she was insinuating and to know that Kara’s mind, a mind so pure and innocent, could immediately drench itself with unholy thoughts because of Lena was very...very satisfying. More satisfying than Lena would like to admit. 

“Uh, no,” Lena shook her head, “I just...well I like to take pictures I guess.” She shrugged. “Some of them, the ones where someone else is holding the camera, I’m going to have painted or drawn so that I could hang them around my house.”

Kara looked around at the walls of the apartment, there were other pictures here and there, but only the ones on the fridge were intimate. The others were portraits, amazing portraits but Kara felt that they were good enough. Especially the frames that didn’t seem fit to hold such perfection within them. 

“I could do it,” the blonde insisted, “but I would rather make you pose in the same position for hours while I draw you because it’s more meaningful that way,”

_Make me?_ Lena wanted to question it, she really did, but she didn’t want to take it out of context. However, it seemed like Kara was unintentionally flirting and it was extremely subtle. 

“Why not just take a picture?” Lena walked near Kara, reaching past her so that she could pull the food from the bags. 

“Well,” Kara stared up at the walls, “a picture only shows how a camera sees you. It’s only able to show your reflection from its own lenses, but everyone has more than one reflection. While to some, your reflection may be repulsive, to others it may be a form of perfection that you never know you need until you have,”

What does this mean? Where is she going with this? Lena blushed, opening the cabinet for two pots, one so that she could boil the noodles and the other to heat up the meat. She tried to hide her face from Kara, not wanting to display her heated red cheeks. 

Kara knew what it meant and she knew where she was going with it. The creative side of her was lighting up, her inspiration being a half-naked beautiful women. She wanted to deny it, the objectification, but she couldn’t. She wanted to be different than a man, to be able to see a woman for more than what was displayed on the outside, but she couldn’t. Not when she was looking at something so priceless and she had feared this moment of weakness. But still, she continued to drag it out. 

“I doubt that any camera could ever perfectly display the way that your eyes beautifully reflects the light of a sunset.”

_Oh._

Lena paused for about two seconds, her heart dropped. Yes. Kara was definitely flirting. Kara was _definitely_ flirting. Kara. Was definitely. Flirting...with Lena...in her house...where they currently were...alone. 

“Only someone who has witnessed something knows it’s worth, and if a camera has never witnessed that before then how do you know if it’s real?” 

“You don’t,” Lena answered, the straight look on her face becoming a soft smile as she licked her lips. “And you know, for someone so young, you’re very wise,” the brunette said, barely above a whisper as she turned to face the blue-eyed woman who continued to stare out at the portrait on the wall. “I like that about you,”

Kara smiled, “wanna know what I like about you?” The smile was gone, and there it was again, that look that would probably be the cause of Lena’s mental illness. “You’re extremely unpredictable. I can tell that you have a lot of sides to you, yet you only show one. You make me curious, and _that_ is very rare. I’ve never wanted to flip something over and explore every inch of it so much in my life,”

As much as Lena wanted to reply to that, she couldn’t. And she was convinced that the smirk that had slowly crept on Kara’s face as a result of Lena’s failure to form a complete sentence. For some reason, Kara was so good at that. Both of them knew that if it were anyone else, Lena would probably reply with some snarky comment and keep her shit together...but this was Kara Danvers that was looking at her like this. This being _she was ready to risk it all._

Lena cleared her throat and focused on the stove which she finally managed to turn on, “did you bring your sketchbook?” She quickly changed the subject, placing a top on each pot.

The blonde stared at Lena, noticing how nervous she was and took a step back, now leaning against the island that was behind her. 

“I left everything in the car,” she answered honestly. Lena glanced back at Kara on her way out of the kitchen, a confused look on her face.

“I thought we were posed to be studying.” She said.

“We were,” Kara shrugged, “but I don’t have anything to study really. I’ve already done the extra credit work and I got a B on it, which I’m not really satisfied with, but it’ll push up my average a little. Besides, I think that two minutes of studying at Denny’s came in handy,” 

“Ohh, star quarterback and fast leaner huh? What else do I need to know about you?”

Kara thought thoroughly about that question, wondering if she should keep letting Lena get her way. It was fairly noticeable how Lena always changed the subject from herself no matter what. They could never spend more than a minute talking about Lena because it seemed like she would rather talk about Kara or anything else. That was why Kara was so curious because Lena acted like a book without pages and only expected to be judged by her cover. But Kara knew that those pages were torn out and hidden somewhere, she just needed to find them.

“Whatever you want,” the blonde shrugged, “we’ve got nothing but time,”

What if Kara told Lena everything she wanted to know? Because Lena wanted to know about that book. She wanted to know if Kara read it, if she liked what she’d read or if this was just some kind of game where Kara was only here to mock Lena. The brunette was paranoid, yet she refused to show it. 

“What’s your favorite book?” Lena asked jokingly, clearing off the glass coffee table in the living room.

“Don’t have one,” Kara shrugged, “what’s your middle name?” 

The brunette looked up from what she had busied herself with, staring directly into Kara’s distant blue eyes. She thought it was a joke, or that Kara would say _you don’t have to tell me_, but neither of those things were true. It seemed that Kara never joked when she asked a question. She was always serious, which was understandable considering the fact that Lena made her curious. Kara really wanted to know these things about Lena, and it was surprising. Lena had never caught anyone’s interest unless it had something to do with money. But Kara couldn’t care less about the dollars signs, not from what Lena could see so far at least.

“Kieran,” Lena answered, turning her attention back down towards the table, “what’s your favorite color?”

“What’s yours?” 

_Oh. This is what we’re doing?_

“I asked first,” green eyes met blue again. 

“When we were texting earlier what were you doing?”

As Kara changed the subject, Lena raised an eyebrow. _Why did that matter and what did it have to do with colors?_ She thought.

“Why?”

Kara shifted her weight from the island, walking towards the other side of it and sitting down on the barstool. 

“Well, I thought you’d be a better text,”

Lena scoffed, “are you serious? I am an amazing text,”

“Liar,”

“Okay,” the brunette squared her shoulders, “I’m not much of a text. But in my defense, I don’t text a lot of people. And I am most certainly not addicted to my phone like you are, Kara ‘text back in three seconds’ Danvers,”

In all honesty, Kara hated when people took too long to reply. It was one of _many_ reasons why she always texted back so fast because she wanted to treat people the way she wanted to be treated. So she came up with an idea. If Lena was going to become a better text, she needed practice. 

“Alright, how about this,” Kara licked her lips as she got up from the barstool and walked over towards the couch where she plopped down, “since we aren’t studying, and you had intentions on starving us to death,” the blonde joked, “we’re going to spend the rest of the night texting. Bam,”

Lena scoffed, refusing to look back at the woman who sat on the couch behind her. It wasn’t a bad idea, but she knew that this would probably make her addicted to her phone. She was going to be texting Goldilocks for crying out loud, of course, she was going to come to a point where every notification would make her jump at her phone. 

“Why can’t we talk,” Lena asked, finally sitting down and looking into Kara’s eyes, “I’m an amazing conversationalist.”

Kara nodded, “Then why do I only know that your middle name is Kieran?”

“You know where I live, you know my go-to Denny’s order, you know that I have seven majors, and now you know that my middle name is Kieran,” she said cockily, “those are all things you’ve asked. Do you get where I’m going with this?”

“Yes,” Kara nodded, “I also get that you’re kind of a smart ass,”

“Well,” Lena cocked an eyebrow, “I _am_ your tutor,”

How was she so good at this? Pretending like she wasn’t freaking out on the inside. Not that it wasn’t hard to do, because it was. It seemed like she hadn’t been trying to read Kara, trying to figure out if she had read Lena’s diary or not because that was still a thing. Maybe she should ask about to tomorrow, just to see how tonight would turn out.

“Well, then, _Ms. Luthor_,” Kara cleared her throat as she ensured that Lena had all of her attention and vise versa, “I would like to know why you have me written as a mister,”

Lena’s heart dropped, and she had suddenly become extremely hot, yet, she refused to break eye contact. She refused to show that she had been afraid to share _that_ specific entry. It was the only one where Goldilocks was referred to as a mister, so Lena knew the exact entry that Kara spoke of. However, she was in fact relieved to know the answer to one of her questions..._did Kara read my diary?_

Yes.

Yes, she did.

“You read it?” Though she knew the answer to that, it was the only thing that Lena could say. And it came out shockingly clear. 

_Goldilocks, normally I don’t write this late, but I dreamt of you and I have never wanted sweet things less in my life. An empty morning once filled with roses and chocolates and soft kisses could easily be accepted if you bit me and treated me like a slut the night before. If you had chocked me and stared into my soul with your fingers drowning in my waters while I moaned _your name_ out of pleasure. If you made me feel useless and desperate for everything that you had to offer. If you licked every...single...inch of my body and let me know that it’s yours. And I am yours. Whatever it is that you want from me, you can take it. Anything. Because you, Mister Goldilocks, are a freak...and I like that._

“Mhm,” Kara nodded, “and normally you don’t see things like that in people’s diary, but you...” she blonde paused as she reached over to Lena, using her thumb to push Lena’s hair out of her face and behind her ear, “Ms. Luthor, are a freak,” she glanced at Lena’s lips, tugging on her own bottom lip, “I like that,”

If Lena said that that was a surprise, she’d be lying. Dreams can come from experiences mixed with deep desires. An illusion of what should’ve been rather than what was. Lena saw that, that time where Kara had pinned some guy up onto the locker because he bumped into a girl and didn’t help pick up her books. Lena had seen the strength in Kara, her need to feel powerful and dominate. She also saw that time where Kara pinned Mike to her car and made out with him like it was there last. Mike was Kara’s ex...Kara’s ex who Kara had to see shirtless every day because Mike and Kara were on the same football team. Ew.

“Did you read everything?” 

“Mhm,” the blonde nodded again, “that’s why you make me curious. After we met, it never occurred to me that you liked to be...taken advantage of. You have so many different sides to you, and I would like to explore all of them if you want me to, but I don’t have to ask because you’re mine, right?”


End file.
